Can’t See Through The Fog March 21, 2008

For the last few days I have been sick, on top of the morning sickness I have been blessed with. My head is so congested I can’t breathe through my nose and I wake up with a pounding headache almost every day.

Although I am not feeling great physically, my prayer goes out to the people who are suffering in their hearts. We have another holiday coming up, and a pretty major holiday in my opinion. And even though Easter is just around the corner, once again my family cannot seem to put their love for God above all else and celebrate His eternal life together.

Love Is In The Air January 23, 2008

With Valentines Day approaching, I have been racking my brain for what I can do for Travis this year. Our six year anniversary is also in February, as is Monkey’s birthday.

We have been passing around a horrendous cold since before Christmas so we have either been sick or caring for the sick for too long. I have been working on refinancing our house, potty training the dog and Monkey, attending MOPS, cooking for MOPS, MOMS and The Rock, and we are starting Kindermusik this week.

Travis has two pretty big web projects right now, and his office is moving at his full time job so there is rush and stress relating to that. He has been working late a little more and has been talking to/meeting with side-business clients weekly.

Did I mention we are starting a new class tonight at church?!

We have been going non-stop, and I for one am tired! Don’t get me wrong, I am so thankful to have the opportunities we have and I am not complaining by any means, but I could certainly use a nap.

So, how do we refocus on each other during the up and coming season of love? Valentines Day is no big deal for us, but I do love our anniversary. I love to celebrate the love we found so many years ago and still have to this day. On our wedding day we gave music cd’s to our guests with our favorite and meaningful songs. Travis makes me another edition of the cd every year, and I have yet to come up with something that means that much to him. We have played the Romantic Nights game, and occasionally still do. We have date night about once a month, and spend hours playing WoW together, but I ready for something new.

Little Blessings January 17, 2008

Today, Monkey and I bundled up and went out into the freezing cold for our first visit to preschool.

Little Blessings came highly recommended by one of Travis’ clients and a MOPS mommy also chimed in with a raving review, so we decided to check it out. We purposely went unscheduled so we could see the teachers and students in action. Upon arrival the first thing I noticed is the building wasn’t marked very well. I was unsure where to park, so I just parked at the front of the church, unloaded Monkey and headed for the doors. Locked. So we walked around to the side of the building and found all of the doors to also be locked. I called from my cell phone. No answer. I peeked inside the windows and could see a couple of students so I tried the phone again. No answer. Keep in mind in Colorado today we had a high of about 25 degrees, so I am getting impatient fast. We walked back to a different door and I called one final time and they answered. I explained why we were there and she said she could almost see me on camera and she will let us in.

We toured the facility and watched a few classes in action and I have to admit I was less than impressed. The classrooms were small and the students didn’t really look like they were all that interested. The tour guide explained because of the size of the rooms, the state will only allow eight students, instead of ten. She said it as though it was a good thing, but I have to say I don’t see it that way.

We looked at the playground equipment which was covered in snow and she explained the children go outside and play every day. I must have made a strange face or something, because she looked at me, paused and then explained when it is cold they just go for a walk on the sidewalk near the road. Again, less than impressed.

There were other issues that I didn’t feel right about (again the blessing/curse of discernment) but the moral of the story is we are going to pass.

Hidden Behind the Trees December 12, 2007

As most of you know, we had a miscarriage about three weeks ago. I have always believed when tragedy strikes, God has the greatest opportunity to do something great in my life.

I delivered food for my fellow MOPS mommy last night and I felt really blessed to have had the chance to put a smile on that young womans face. As I also mentioned before, I have decided to check out volunteer opportunities at The Rock in the youth ministry (called Illuminate) and I am looking forward to working with that group tonight. All in all I am basking in the sunlight of the Lord.

As I was getting out of the shower today, the phone rang. It was my ministry leader for The Care ministries at The Rock. She asked me to go to The Childrens Hospital to pray over a family in need. The child was a 2 1/2 month old little boy who had a brain infection. They doctors didn’t know what was causing it, thus didn’t have the cure. They had told the parents to take their son home and enjoy the time they had left with him. I cannot imagine how overwhelming it must feel to be standing in the middle of a forest of unanswered questions with no idea how to return home.

Seconds Anyone? December 10, 2007

I joined MOPS in September and I completely love the program. The table I am assigned to is made up of wonderful moms, all of which have children close to Monkeys age. My table leader is so sweet, and our mentor mom couldn’t be a nicer lady. We meet every other week at The Rock.

So far we have made a meal for our family, made tooth fairy boxes, learned how to decorate a cake from the owner of The Makery, and (my favorite) we had an interior designer from HGTV come in and give us design tips. All in all, the entire blessing has been such a great experience.

At the last meeting a young mommy (I say young, but she was about my age) stood up in tears and told the entire group she found out she has breast cancer and will be having a double masectemy right before Christmas. This really rocked my world because I have always had a little bit of the ‘invincible teen syndrome’ in me… meaning no real tragedy could ever happen to me. But this woman whom I had never met before could have been me. She has a little one that is younger than Monkey. She is a wife and a mommy and I am sure she is just trying to hold it all together, not unlike the rest of us.

Reap What You Sow December 7, 2007

The dust has settled and after a lot of reflection I have come to realize part of the hole in my heart that I am feeling is because I am not serving at church like I used to. Even though the work I did for Southlink Church was not my passion, nonetheless it allowed me to feel satisfaction in knowing I was doing my little part for the Lords house.

About 5 months ago Travis and I took a class called “Discovering Gods Design for You” at our new church. We learned about our spiritual gifts, and it really was a great opportunity to learn about ourselves and each other. As part of the class they try to suggest areas in which your spiritual gifts may be used. One of the suggestions that came up was youth ministry. At first I was like “No way!” Not because I wasn’t interested, but because I thought there was no way I would succeed in a position like that because of all of my insecurities, my social anxiety, and the fact that I prefer one-on-one relationships.

Travis got busy at work and we had so much going on that I kind of ignored my desire to start serving at this time. Plus I really felt like I hadn’t found something that was a perfect match. Still, the thought of youth ministry kept creeping up on me. So, I researched it and discovered the process for becoming a youth leader at The Rock is pretty straight forward. They have it all listed online, and I didn’t have to throw myself out there and actually contact anyone in order to learn more about it!

While I’m Waiting: John Waller November 30, 2007

For those of you who have not heard John Wallers “While I’m Waiting” I highly recommend you track this song down. I tried to find it on myspace, but John Waller doesn’t have this one listed…

I first heard this song about a year ago. The ministry team I was leading was going through some division due to some decisions and changes and I hadn’t been able to attend the worship session in quite some time. Finally God placed a true leader on my team and Travis and I were able to hear this song the very first time John played it for our congregation. I was so close to my breaking point, yet God used this song to remind me that I hadn’t been forgotten, and I had a responsibility to continue on the path that I knew was right…though it is painful…and it’s not easy…

Since we lost the baby, God continues to put these words that I love so dearly on my heart. A week ago God let me know it was time to start serving again. Even though I do believe I serve Him every day when I love on my daughter and husband. Every day when I am a good steward of our blessings by cleaning my house and working on the never ending laundry, but yet, I know I can do more…While I’m Waiting… I will serve you, as I’m waiting…

In the shower, when I am alone with God and my tears blend with the hot water and no one can hear me cry and no one feels sorry for me, I hear it… I will move ahead, bold and confident…