Elbowing Out the In-Laws February 26, 2008

We are the stereotypical Italian family.

I am loud when I tell stories, and I have been known to wave my hands around like a mad woman in order to get my point across. Travis has an insatiable belly laugh that makes the entire room smile. We love fun and fellowship. We love having friends over and sharing a bottle of wine. A night playing cards something I can never get enough of. And the food! Oh the food! We love pasta, cheese, meats and all other things that taste so good on my lips, and look so horrible on my hips.

I was at my mother in laws house last weekend and she has perfected that adorable ‘pleasantly plump’ grandmother look. She has a beautiful smile and a cute high pitched voice when she gets excited and really I could just eat her up she’s so darn cute.

10 Things I am Thankful For February 18, 2008

I have been so focused on what I have been through in the last few months that I feel like I need to thank God for what I do have – instead of what I don’t.  Here’s a very small slice of a very large pie:

1. Thank God for my faith.  What He has planted inside of my heart has deep roots and blooms year round.
2. Thank God for my family.  They show me a glimpse of what God has to offer and are my heaven on Earth.
3. Thank God for my home.  It has provided shelter not only for our family, but others in their time of need.  The beautiful noise that comes from it is a reflection of the love that is felt inside.
4. Thank God for my body.  Although it may not look perfect to the outside world and it has given me some pain lately, I know it was a gift from God.  I know he gave me these eyes to see joy on Monkeys face and these ears to hear her giggle.  I know he gave my these arms to wrap around my family when they are hurting and when they are joyful.  I am grateful.
5. Thank God for providing for us.  We don’t always manage our financial blessings in the best way, but we are a work in progress and He allows us the financial freedom to make mistakes and move on.
6. Thank God for leading us to The Rock.  This church has blessed us in so many ways including the kids program, MOPS and all of the classes.  We have also been able to connect with some new brothers and sisters in Christ and feel very blessed every time we are able to get together.
7. Thank God for grace.  Both His and others.  One of my dear friends Nina showed some undue grace this past week and it has completely changed my outlook. She has inspired me to really work to be more like her.  More like Christ.
8. Thank God for my past and thank God for what He has planned.  I can’t wait to see my story unfold.
9. Thank God for prayers that are answered, and prayers that remain unanswered.  Sometimes those prayers are the ones that really show how much he cares.
10. Thank God for his only son.  As a parent myself I can’t imagine what it feels like to choose to send your child into a broken world, knowing his tragic fate.  I am broken and sinful.  Because of Gods gift of his only son, I am forgiven.  I can’t imagine anything I am more thankful for.

I challenge you all to thank God for 10 things this week.  Big or small, He doesn’t care.  If you want to share, please leave a comment.  Leave all of them, or just one thing.  We all have something to be thankful for, even in our darkest moments and this week is a time for thankfulness!

Leaning February 13, 2008

I have had about enough.

Since Monkey was born (three years ago today!) I have had my gall bladder removed, been diagnosed with hypothyroidism, suffered a summer full of migraine headaches, and had a miscarriage. In the last six months I have seen five different doctors. None of which have any answers, but all of them have that same distracted look in their eyes and the same effortless shrug in their shoulders.

Today I received a call back from my OB explaining they don’t know what is going on exactly and things should just work themselves out. He recommended waiting until next month to start trying again.

What a surprise. Another non-descript conversation ending in tears of disappointment.

At this point I am completely frustrated. It is hard for me to swallow the fact that maybe the doctors will never figure this out. I may just have to live on Advil since it is really the only thing they all agree is safe to take while trying to conceive.

My First Shoot February 11, 2008

I was lucky enough to spend some time photographing my sister and her boyfriend yesterday. They are celebrating their third anniversary this year, and are one of the sweetest couples I know. I just love the look of desperate adoration in the above picture.

I took about 500 pics, and had a little over 40 that I loved, so I was pretty happy with the results. I hope they had as much fun as I did!

Monkey’s Third Birthday February 11, 2008

Monkey had her third birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese this weekend. We did the whole kids birthday thing and ate the cardboard pizza and drank the flat soda. The kids seemed to have a great time, and the adults kept the peace (for the most part), so all in all, a success!

This is Monkey and her cousin taking advantage of the wait by loving on each other. They are so sweet!

We are taking Monkey to the Childrens Museum on her actual birthday, so more to come….

Patience Is a Virtue… One I Don’t Have! February 8, 2008

I am sure most of you know by now, but for those of you who don’t let me tell you, I am a terrible waiter. I don’t like to wait for answers, I ruin surprises at Christmas, and I just really do not like the unknown. Truth be told, Monkey is more patient than I am, and she’s three (in five days)!

Of course God knows this too, so wouldn’t you know it? He’s asking me to patiently wait.

I haven’t been feeling all that well lately, and I missed my period (sorry if that’s too much info for my male readers LOL). I finally talked myself into going to the doctor yesterday. As I mentioned before I really didn’t care too much for the OB I was seeing before, but she’s covered under our insurance. I really wanted a comprehensive check, so I decided to suck it up and pay out of pocket for the OB who delivered Monkey.

I went and he explained there were several things that can cause a delay in my cycle so he wanted to do complete blood work and an ultrasound just to see what was going on. After the ultrasound it was determined my uterus has a very thick lining. This means one of two things: Either my body “stopped” somewhere along the line after my miscarriage and the lining was not shed, or we’re pregnant. He could not tell from the ultrasound because if we are pregnant, the sac and baby would not yet be visible.

If it’s the first I will need to have a D&C. I am pretty scared about this for several reasons, but I am mostly sad because this means I will have to wait even longer to try for our number two. This would also confuse me even more because I had a period in January! For those of you who didn’t pay attention in 7th grade sex ed (or you are too old to remember – like me!), a womans period is when  the lining of the uterus is shed.  He also mentioned if I just let it go, eventually the lining would close off my uterus completely and I would become infertile. Thank you God for convincing me to go to the doctor!

The tiredness could also be a sign my thyroid pills need to be adjusted. That’s never fun because the appropriate dosage is pretty much a guessing game until they get it locked in, all the while I am feeling “off”.

I am thinking this is what will happen, but still praying for a miracle. I don’t feel pregnant at all (other than how tired I am) and the urine tests came back negative. If the blood work confirms a pregnancy, I will be high risk and it is likely I will need hormone shots in order to carry to full term.

I tried to find more information on line, but there just isn’t more to find at this point. There are just too many considerations to be made in order to make a definite determination.

Everything should be back in about a week, and I will keep everyone posted, but in the mean time, God just has us waiting.

No Limit, No Measure February 5, 2008

Over last weekend we moved Monkey to a “big girl” bed. We purchased a full size mattress and I went to Target and picked out a quilt. The quilt I picked was the last one in that color and didn’t have a tag on it, therefore I took it to customer service and explained I wanted to purchase this, but wanted to find out how much it was since all of the quilts were on clearance. The woman explained she would have to search for it by hand so it would take a while. I told her I was in no hurry and to take her time and she could help others when they came up. Monkey was asleep in the car so Daddy was listening to the radio, patiently waiting, so I didn’t have all day, but I still offered my patience.

About 20 minutes into the process I realize some of the colors on the quilt are a little loud. I asked if she would mind if while I was waiting I could step outside with a pillowcase and get a ‘yea or nay’ from daddy. She explained I couldn’t take unpaid merchandise out of the store. I thought she misunderstood, so I explained I wanted to take just the pillowcase, not the blanket and I even offered to leave my wallet. Same response, followed by “it’s policy”.

Tag, You’re it! February 2, 2008

One of my new friends in the blogosphere, Velvia at It Could Fill Books (which by the way I think that is a great blog name) tagged me for 7 random things about me. So here goes…

1. In my previous life (before I became a stay at home mom) I managed apartments. Specifically I handled evictions, and really felt okay with it. During that time, I also saw a dead person and handled a woman whose children were taken away from her because of the condition of her apartment. At one point my company had to put Travis and I in a hotel because of how crazy a resident was treating me, yet I loved the job.
2. My husband Travis and I met 8 years ago through a mutual friend in a karaoke bar called The Main Event. That night he sang “Safety Dance” by Men Without Hats. That song made our wedding CD, two years later.
3. I had a newspaper article written about me when I was in High School because I was involved in so many things. Some of those things included Cheerleading, Marching Band, FBLA, winterguard and competitive speech. Today I can barely handle Monkey and more than one appointment on any given day. LOL
4. As I mentioned in a previous post, I was a victim of domestic violence. Not through one boyfriend, but two. The first time I was pregnant it was with one of the abusers child. I didn’t know it at the time, but the miscarriage I suffered was Gods protective hands wrapped around my heart.
5. I became a Christian about four years ago. I feel although I am a baby in my walk with the Lord, I have loved every minute of our time together and I can physically feel Him drawing me in every day.
6. Our Mini English Bulldog snores louder than my dear husband. At least once a night Travis or I ask if the other person said something because the noise is so easily mistaken as a voice.
7. Last, but not least, I love, love, LOVE photography. I love to take pictures of people when they don’t even realize I am there and I am anti-portrait. (too stiff!!) I love to capture emotional moments in my cameras eye and I love the reaction I get when people see my work. I love pretty much everything about it.

So… V’Dubs, you are up… 7 random things about you. I know you can do it, and I can’t wait until you do.

5 Things I’m Lifting to the Lord February 1, 2008

No matter what is going on in my life, I always have something I am trying desperately to hold on to. I need to be better about giving everything over to God. I trust him, I know he loves me, and I know he will protect my heart, guide my hands and guard my mouth. Yet, I try to stay in control.

With the short, yet busy month of February upon us I am going to make an effort to give five things up to God.

1. The refinance of our house. Things have gotten a little off track, but I can already see the light at the end of the tunnel. Just how God always is, the new plan is even better than what we thought was our plan before.
2. The stress of Monkeys birthday party. It is never easy to bring our crazy families together, but I am asking Him to help me keep the focus on our Monkey.
3. A leadership position with MOPS. I should hear back from the MOPS steering team this month regarding my application to be a discussion group leader. I am excited about the possibility of helping other mommies grow in their faith through this program, and I hope I am chosen for this position.
4. Finding a preschool for Monkey. One of my dear friends from MOPS highly recommended another preschool for us to check out. She is enrolling her son there, and used to teach preschool, so my hopes are high, but just like everything else, it is in Gods hands.
5. Myles and his continued education about his alcoholism. He is my mothers boyfriend, and I love him just like he is family. He is struggling with his disease and is currently serving time in jail for DUI. He is working on his relationship with God, but like so many people with this disease, he struggles everyday. I need to focus on writing him more so he can know how much I love him and miss him.

There are things I can give to the Lord during all seasons of my life. For now, these are my top five. What would you like to give up to the Lord? You can be specific or non-descriptive. I commit to praying for you and the release of your stresses, so be sure and leave your comments below so I can be sure and pray for you.