While I’m Waiting: John Waller November 30, 2007

For those of you who have not heard John Wallers “While I’m Waiting” I highly recommend you track this song down. I tried to find it on myspace, but John Waller doesn’t have this one listed…

I first heard this song about a year ago. The ministry team I was leading was going through some division due to some decisions and changes and I hadn’t been able to attend the worship session in quite some time. Finally God placed a true leader on my team and Travis and I were able to hear this song the very first time John played it for our congregation. I was so close to my breaking point, yet God used this song to remind me that I hadn’t been forgotten, and I had a responsibility to continue on the path that I knew was right…though it is painful…and it’s not easy…

Since we lost the baby, God continues to put these words that I love so dearly on my heart. A week ago God let me know it was time to start serving again. Even though I do believe I serve Him every day when I love on my daughter and husband. Every day when I am a good steward of our blessings by cleaning my house and working on the never ending laundry, but yet, I know I can do more…While I’m Waiting… I will serve you, as I’m waiting…

In the shower, when I am alone with God and my tears blend with the hot water and no one can hear me cry and no one feels sorry for me, I hear it… I will move ahead, bold and confident…

Black Friday November 26, 2007

After the ultrasound on Tuesday I had some light spotting. Unfortunately, yesterday the spotting continued and progressed to more steady bleeding. We called the doctor and she said we should be fine to wait until today to get checked out.

We went in to the office today and after an ultrasound it was determined the baby no longer has a heartbeat. The doctor said there is a less than 5% chance of this happening, since the baby appeared to be in such good standing less than a week ago. However, for what ever reason God’s plan does not include this child with our family. The baby died just three days after our ultrasound – “Black Friday”, November 23, 2007. A year ago this time Monkey was having tubes put in her ears. This year we celebrated her big sister status and had her ears pierced.

It is just hard to believe that something that was so alive less than 7 days ago, is now gone. That being said, we know it is not without reason. While it is hard to accept, both Travis and I have taken great comfort in the fact that God does have a plan for us and He loves us and will take care of us… but oh how I would love to see what He sees right now.

Big sister Monkey got pierced! November 23, 2007

We had never wanted to pierce Monkeys ears while she was still a “baby”. The conversation would come and go, but we had decided every time she was still too little. As time went on, we decided that it was something we could do when she became a big sister. We put the idea out of our heads since that wasn’t going to happen for a while.

Well, as most of you have already heard she is going to be a big sister. Therefore, today we took the plunge and took her Jack and Jill’s Childrens salon and had the deed done. They were great with her and pierced both ears at the same time to avoid more pain and fear than necessary, and she did great! She cried for a little bit, but both of the women working said she did better than most little girls.

She does look a little more grown up now… Travis said about a year older. Even so, in our hearts, she will always be our baby.

First Doctor Visit: Could be a boy… November 20, 2007

Our first OBGYN appointment was today and I was excited and nervous at the same time. As I mentioned before, this pregnancy has been a lot different from my last one… the biggest difference being how good I feel!

We had to change doctors, which is never fun, therefore I was even more nervous. However, even though the drive is long (about 45 miles away) the doctor was extremely nice and the NP was also very helpful and friendly.

They did do an ultrasound and we got to see the little bean. We are right on track for a due date of July 6th, 2008. We got to see and hear the babys heartbeat, which was at a strong 128 beats per minute… which if you believe the old wives tale, it is a boy!

I will post the picture of the bean a little later… although because it is so early there isn’t much to look at….

Silas the Cat: One down, eight to go November 19, 2007

Last Tuesday in my rush to get to MOPS I accidentally let our cat “Silas” out. I couldn’t find him right away, so I left for the day. When I returned, still no Silas. The following day – still no sign of him. Our other cat meowed for him out the windows and doors but still he did not return.

For those of you who don’t know we live in a new neighborhood. We love it here, but the coyotes are not as pleased. I often hear them howling at night, and coincidentally there is not a loose pet in the neighborhood. I tell you this only to explain why at this point we had no choice but to believe our precious Silas had gone to meet the maker.

Tonight we were coming home at about 8:30 and low and behold, Silas ran across our driveway! I CANNOT believe he made it almost a week out and about. He is dirty and was very hungry. He clearly had lost weight…but the good thing is he’s young and prior to this little adventure, he had all nine lives to work with.

Thanks to all of you who knew we had been struggling in the pet department and thank you all for your prayers. But most of all, thanks be to God – you’ve given me the perfect birthday present and another reason to be thankful during the holiday season.

Dog Days of Fall November 19, 2007

For those of you who don’t know, about a month ago we made the tough decision to give our dog Duke back to the German Shorthaired pointer rescue. It was a very hard decision, but based on his health needs, we felt we were doing the right thing for the dog. We all made the drive down and said our goodbyes with the understanding the rescue had a relationship with the vets in the area and he would have the investigative surgery he needed.

After a lot of tough questions from Monkey about where Duke went, time went on and our hearts were starting to heal.

On Saturday I received a phone call from the new owner! I was shocked he had already been adopted out, especially after I found out they adopted him the DAY AFTER WE DROPPED HIM OFF. He asked me why we gave Duke up and when I explained he was a great dog behaviorally, however due to his health issues we could no longer care for him. Then he was shocked!! The owner of the Rocky Mountain GSP rescue had told him we were having our first baby and didn’t want to deal with the dog anymore. WHAT?! As angry as I was, I was more hurt than mad. He and I talked for about a half hour and I explained the cycle of his illness and he explained that he was already going to the bathroom about 12 times a day, which is what prompted him to call… thanks to the dog tag we had placed on Duke’s collar he was able to obtain our phone number (Thank you God!)

A Bittersweet Turkey Day November 16, 2007

Well Thanksgiving is right around the corner. It is a little bitter-sweet for me this year simply because while I do have a lot to be thankful for, we find ourselves without many people to share it with.

It has been a tradition since we bought our first house that we cook Thanksgiving at our house, and every year we have family come here. Typically the family would celebrate at their homes on other days (because everyone wants turkey leftovers!) Well this year, we are not high on everyones list of favorite family members (for various reasons) so we are spending Thanksgiving with just our small family. Again, I am so thankful for the opportunity to even celebrate Thanksgiving, however I am sad to see the tradition come to an end… especially because Monkey is at such a great age for holidays right now.

We are still going ahead as though everyone were coming over… Travis ordered the biggest turkey he could and I am planning on making a few pies, but I can’t help but feel a little sad about the fact the house won’t be crammed full of family and the beautiful noise of kids playing. Our doctor appointment is on Tuesday, so I am praying we have a new little life to be thankful for… and I am really grateful for the way the pregnancy has gone thus far.

That being said, we are starting a new tradition this year. Since we have a lot of our Christmas shopping done, we are going to put up our Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving… and hopefully some outdoor lights too. I am excited to pull out our ornaments and this year we have one to add from Breckenridge. I can’t wait for Monkey to see the tree (and some of the presents we have) because I think she will just be in awe. And, this is going to be Monkeys last Christmas as an only child, so I really plan on spoiling the heck out of her.

As I said in the beginning, this will be a bittersweet Turkey Day, but I also believe God will come into our holiday and do amazing things. And for that I am forever grateful.

Family Dinner November 16, 2007

Our MOPS group discussed the importance of eating family meals together recently so I did some searching online and most research (including the National Center for Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University) indicates families that don’t share meals 5-7 times a week, are one and half more times likely to drink, smoke, or use illegal substances during the teenage years.

Could that be right? Could it be something as simple as cooking a meal (or picking one up) and sitting down together could completely change the outcome of our childs life? Then it dawned on me… it’s not so much the meal, but the details surrounding it. What I mean is in the time it takes to boil some water and heat up some sauce, your teenager might actually crack a smile or divulge a detail about her day. Once the meal finally hits the table, perhaps the whole family will be talking… Who knows what can happen by the time dessert and dishes roll around…

Because of this (and the fact that I love to cook and eat) we eat most meals at home around our table. I have to admit, even though Monkey is only 2, some of her funniest moments have been when she is pushed up against the table… and who can stay mad at hubbie when he prays over you and compliments your cooking?? For me and our little family, we are hooked!

Potty Training November 15, 2007

About six months ago we decided Monkey was ready for potty training. We went out and bought the musical potty, flushable wipes, panties, stickers and a sticker chart and candy.

I came home so determined only to realize it was a false alarm… she wasn’t ready. She would only tell me she had to go potty AFTER she went. So, I packed everything up and decided not to push the issue.

Then, about a month ago she came up to me and ripped off her diaper (luckily it wasn’t dirty) and said “No more diapers mommy”. So, I brought everything back out and wouldn’t you know it… she really meant it! No more diapers… for the most part.

What I learned (and what I thought I already knew) is that everyone does things at their own pace and this life is not on my schedule… even if I jump up and down and piss and moan about it.

Isn’t it amazing that God used a two year old child to teach me one of lifes greatest lessons?

Pending Fatherhood November 13, 2007

It seems that we are to be blessed by another child. I find it difficult to contain my excitement. As usual, I am trying to play it cool, but this really is overwhelming and thrilling all at the same time. There are a lot of things that are different with this pregnancy:

• Angie is not working. Well, she is working (I love ya babe), but she is now working in the home. No more early morning and late evening trips to various childcare outlets.
• We live in a different house. I guess we need to start baby-proofing this place. This is a blessing as well as our last house would have been a bit too small.
• Angie isn’t as sick as she was last time. Maybe it is a boy.
• I am a lot more calm. Of course, this could all change at the first ultrasound. I tend to be a visual thinker.

It is our second go at this…so hopefully I will have learned a few things from the first time around. I now know that it is okay for a child to skip the baby-food stage and go directly to steak and taters. I also learned to spend a little extra money on diapers and a thermometer, but it is okay to cheap out on baby-wipes and formula. Time to start putting together another nursery. Although, I suppose I should finish Monkeys room first…

Powered by ScribeFire.